Five relationships, five endings, and a running theme of appalling timing. From a teenage misstep with the phrase “I love you” to a textbook marriage and its quiet unravelling, to a permanent move to Melbourne that lasted seven months — a candid accounting of the men and women I have loved, and lost.
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A big fish in a small pond, then a medium fish in a much bigger one. Boards, committees, twelve years on InterPride, and a slow disconnect from community that nobody warns you about. Then illness, solitude, and a hard-won mantra: no expectations, no disappointments. Community service, in full.
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A drag queen who could actually lip sync. A Pride board colleague, sweet-souled and now quietly absent. A nightclub instant-friendship with a man of shared politics, shared complications, and a quick temper that has occasionally misfired. Three Elizabeths, a Daddy, and twenty-two years of Melbourne friendship in all its imperfect glory.
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Brett Hayhoe reflects on his complex relationship with his father in a compelling memoir. He explores the distance created by his parents’ separation and the small, impactful memories that linger. The narrative highlights childhood experiences, the absence of grandparents, and a poignant moment with cigarettes, ultimately revealing an inheritance of memories and unresolved emotions.
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A first big trip. A mother and son on Queensland Rail, heading south to visit family. A cousin with a church group and an enormous quantity of alcohol. A homecoming that went badly wrong. A holiday cut short and a train back to Cairns — rather sooner than planned.
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A chat floor. A flight to Melbourne. A week in a motel and a tram ride through a city neither of them lived in together for long. What followed was a friendship of twenty-five years — irregular, occasionally fractious, and entirely genuine. Until, recently, it wasn’t.
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Brett reflects on his enduring friendship with Paul — confidante, co-conspirator, and fellow traveller through some of the most memorable nights and meaningful moments of his life. From InterPride conference bars to a Staten Island keynote, theirs is a friendship built on loyalty, laughter, and an unspoken understanding that simply endures.
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Brett reflects on his mother — the woman who named him, caught him smoking under the Queenslander, sent him packing to his sister’s, and loved his son James with everything she had. A portrait built from imperfect memory, and all the more precious for it.
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What began as a Sunday afternoon encounter stretched into three years of long-distance hope, manipulation and heartbreak spanning Melbourne and India. Brett recalls the red flags he missed, the borders he fought to open, and the man who repaid his loyalty with theft, lies and abandonment.
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A friendship that defies easy category. Alan — met in Vancouver, shared in Astoria — and the decade of visits that made his city feel like home. His mother Estelle, with her southern charm and impeccable comedic timing. A sister best experienced unprepared. A neighbourhood bar, a deli, the el, and the sound of the world going about its business.
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